If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Best Of
Re: My teacher said something to a friend of mine that made me have flashbacks and get really angry.
I'm so sorry dear.
I hear ur pain and frustration.
Trusting is a hard thing especially when it's proven guilty.
I'm so sorry u had to go through this.
Know ur loved and cared for.
And u can always reach out on here.
I hear ur pain and frustration.
Trusting is a hard thing especially when it's proven guilty.
I'm so sorry u had to go through this.
Know ur loved and cared for.
And u can always reach out on here.
Sindy
1
Re: Not feeling 100 percent well
Job hunting is stressful, even at the best of times. I notice that you say that you are just job hunting and this leads me to think that most of your time is spent job hunting. I'm wondering if you manage to fit in time to do things that you enjoy doing and that help to make you feel good and relax a bit?
It's understandable that one moment you might feel fine, only to find yourself worrying about the job hunting and then negative about it all. Perhaps you can take the time to notice when you start thinking about it negatively and try to remind yourself that you are a) actively job hunting b) spending lots of time job hunting and c) making improvements (and anything else you can think of). It can be helpful to think of all the good things that you are doing to help ease the negative thinking so you won't get so down about it.
Uncertainty can be difficult to deal with. I also notice that you mentioned about how once you get a job, you can go from there in terms or routine. I'm wondering whether you have much routine at the moment? I understand that there are some things that are difficult to do without a job e.g. saving money. But things like making and keeping to a routine can still be done, even without a job. Perhaps you can divide up your time into looking and applying for jobs, as well as things you enjoy doing? You might find the uncertainty of not working a bit better if you have a routine you can follow.
It's understandable that one moment you might feel fine, only to find yourself worrying about the job hunting and then negative about it all. Perhaps you can take the time to notice when you start thinking about it negatively and try to remind yourself that you are a) actively job hunting b) spending lots of time job hunting and c) making improvements (and anything else you can think of). It can be helpful to think of all the good things that you are doing to help ease the negative thinking so you won't get so down about it.
Uncertainty can be difficult to deal with. I also notice that you mentioned about how once you get a job, you can go from there in terms or routine. I'm wondering whether you have much routine at the moment? I understand that there are some things that are difficult to do without a job e.g. saving money. But things like making and keeping to a routine can still be done, even without a job. Perhaps you can divide up your time into looking and applying for jobs, as well as things you enjoy doing? You might find the uncertainty of not working a bit better if you have a routine you can follow.
Maisy
1
Re: Family life
Hey @Slinky , thank you for sharing your experience here with us - I can hear that it's a difficult thing to open up about. I just want to say that with all you've been through, you still have worth and value. You're doing your best, and deserve to be heard and supported! It might be some time, but once you're a little older, you'll be able to access a much wider range of people from different backgrounds. Sometimes, we are born into a community where we belong; sometimes, we find a community where we belong later in life. You'll find yours in time too
Azziman
1
Re: My teacher said something to a friend of mine that made me have flashbacks and get really angry.
Hi @Anonymous55
Firstly I just wanted to say that it's great that you are able to be there for your friend. It can be tricky trying to support someone whilst keeping their privacy in mind.
The way that teacher responded to the situation was not okay, I can understand your frustration with him, he definitely didn't handle that situation how he should have and then made it worse by completely dismissing your friend when she tried to talk!
I can see how it would remind you of when you were let down in the past, having your trust broken time and time again is difficult and understandably means you're hesitant about reaching out again
You've always got a space here to share how you're feeling. You can also reach out to Childline, where adults are trained to listen to you and offer help, they won't dismiss you like that teacher.
Firstly I just wanted to say that it's great that you are able to be there for your friend. It can be tricky trying to support someone whilst keeping their privacy in mind.
The way that teacher responded to the situation was not okay, I can understand your frustration with him, he definitely didn't handle that situation how he should have and then made it worse by completely dismissing your friend when she tried to talk!
I can see how it would remind you of when you were let down in the past, having your trust broken time and time again is difficult and understandably means you're hesitant about reaching out again
You've always got a space here to share how you're feeling. You can also reach out to Childline, where adults are trained to listen to you and offer help, they won't dismiss you like that teacher.
Re: How do I stop being asexual???
@AnonymousToe
There is nothing wrong with you. I used to search my class for people to have crushes on, because I thought that was just something that was normal and necessary. When I saw a video by Jaden Animations about how she did that too, I was over the moon because I felt so weird doing it. I'd pick someone out, and try to develop a crush on them, and because I kept tricking myself into thinking they were so pretty or nice or something, I would, but it would be over time. Now, I'm not saying you just need to 'wait'. I understand it doesn't work like that.
If you're ace, you're ace. If you're trans, you're trans. If ya gay, ya gay. All I'm saying is that I get how you feel, and it's not weird or wrong. Don't pressure yourself into becoming something you aren't. Your purpose is to do exactly what you want to, and nothing else. There's nothing set in stone about who you have to be. Life is about whatever you want it to be. Asexuality does exist. Me and my brother are both on the spectrum, so we get it. It's hard, and people call us fakers, or broken, but who the hell cares what they say? They aren't us. We are who we are.
There is nothing wrong with you. I used to search my class for people to have crushes on, because I thought that was just something that was normal and necessary. When I saw a video by Jaden Animations about how she did that too, I was over the moon because I felt so weird doing it. I'd pick someone out, and try to develop a crush on them, and because I kept tricking myself into thinking they were so pretty or nice or something, I would, but it would be over time. Now, I'm not saying you just need to 'wait'. I understand it doesn't work like that.
If you're ace, you're ace. If you're trans, you're trans. If ya gay, ya gay. All I'm saying is that I get how you feel, and it's not weird or wrong. Don't pressure yourself into becoming something you aren't. Your purpose is to do exactly what you want to, and nothing else. There's nothing set in stone about who you have to be. Life is about whatever you want it to be. Asexuality does exist. Me and my brother are both on the spectrum, so we get it. It's hard, and people call us fakers, or broken, but who the hell cares what they say? They aren't us. We are who we are.
Re: Does anyone else struggle with impulsivity
yes ! impulsivity is a tricky thing . I have trouble making decisions because i used to do most things on a whim, which did not gel well . Its easy to hate yourself because of it, as it can mess things around, but try to remember that you are not defined by your mistakes . i bet you would forgive / find peace with similar mistakes of others, try to hold yourself to that standard . you are just as human as everyone else .
I cant speak for how you form your own opinions, but as long as you are not oppressing anybody in doing so, you should be allowed to express them regardless of if theyre impulsive . its true that its good to think before you speak / post, but it is also important to allow room for mistakes when trying to manage impulse . everything takes practice !
(and if you ask me, expressing political opinions should be your own business, and not something that "comes back to bite you", but that is another story ! probably one written by orwell too)
take care !
I cant speak for how you form your own opinions, but as long as you are not oppressing anybody in doing so, you should be allowed to express them regardless of if theyre impulsive . its true that its good to think before you speak / post, but it is also important to allow room for mistakes when trying to manage impulse . everything takes practice !
(and if you ask me, expressing political opinions should be your own business, and not something that "comes back to bite you", but that is another story ! probably one written by orwell too)
take care !
Re: Does anyone else struggle with impulsivity
Hey @Amy22, thanks for creating this discussion - I'm sure it resonates with some in this community! Impulsivity is a scale - some people made decisions very quickly without time to think; others take a long time to make even simple decisions (often overthinking); and others are in between!
It's not inherently a bad thing - in some situations, it's quite helpful actually! So I wouldn't hate yourself for it. I think with impulsivity, the important thing is to recognise that there's pros and cons to it (just as with those on the other end of the scale), and that'll be what your parents are alluding to here. Over time, you experience more situations and learn where taking quick decisions is better, and where taking more time to think before deciding is better. I'd suggest having a think about situations where it's been helpful to act before thinking, and situations where it's caused issues.
A helpful tip that I've come across with impulsivity is for non-urgent decisions, you can defer the decision. So in this case, you see something you want to repost. It's not urgent to post, so instead you could save it. Perhaps later in the day, you could come back to it and see if you still want to post it. That way, you force yourself to give it a little time before taking action. How would you feel about trying this out?
It's not inherently a bad thing - in some situations, it's quite helpful actually! So I wouldn't hate yourself for it. I think with impulsivity, the important thing is to recognise that there's pros and cons to it (just as with those on the other end of the scale), and that'll be what your parents are alluding to here. Over time, you experience more situations and learn where taking quick decisions is better, and where taking more time to think before deciding is better. I'd suggest having a think about situations where it's been helpful to act before thinking, and situations where it's caused issues.
A helpful tip that I've come across with impulsivity is for non-urgent decisions, you can defer the decision. So in this case, you see something you want to repost. It's not urgent to post, so instead you could save it. Perhaps later in the day, you could come back to it and see if you still want to post it. That way, you force yourself to give it a little time before taking action. How would you feel about trying this out?
Azziman
2
Re: I need a hug (v2.0) 💚
Hi @AnonymousToe I'm sorry to hear you feel a bit weird at the moment - is it something in particular that you feel comfortable sharing? We are here to listen
amy02
2